Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
