also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
