The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
