just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
