Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
