youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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