I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
