So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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