So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Is it because I queefed?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
