Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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