Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
