But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
