You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
