you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
