My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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