Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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