why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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