I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
