yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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