ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You smell like stripper and shame
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
