I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
