I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
