Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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