He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
