put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
it glows. i had to have it.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
