This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My cat gives me a boner
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
