I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
