dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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