If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
