is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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