I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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