Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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