You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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