guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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