I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
