i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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