I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
