My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
