The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
