oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
