Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just pee around me
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane