I pooped in a mop bucket.
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."