genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that