They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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