hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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