I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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