Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
