Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
