Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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