my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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