he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
