Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
