What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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