I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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