Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
