if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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