So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
