And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
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There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
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Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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