The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Such a big mess for such a small penis
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
