PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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