don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize