i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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