are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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