Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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